my struggle with january, my fight. then finally some insight

 

Happy totally beeee-lated new year. Well we're now into February and it took me a long time to blog about this, January was such a brutal challenge. I'm not sure what happened but all i remember is receiving the news of losing a close family member on Jan 1st new years day and the rest was a total fog. 

on news years eve i was on an amazing roll but I went into a deep dark confusing hole the next day after the punch in the gut with the news of his death. then the next week, an aunt passed away. Life flashed before me and i was watching the world around me swirl in slow motion. honestly, Alot of unsettling news came my way in January.  almost every other day i received news that was life changing around me. i couldn't keep up with what was "normal" anymore.

the next week, a close friend who i lean on daily told me she was moving. then the next week after, i was hospitalized due to an unexpected medical emergency. Then days later, someone who brought constant annoying just ongoing conflict to my life, thank goodness relocated. phew! you would think i would be relieved. trust me, I was. but i was so caught up in the roller coaster of other recent life events that i couldn't really absorb or retain any news or "feel" any emotion towards anything. i was just numb really.  How much loss and change am i going to face in one month? But i had my inner strength to lean on. that's what kept me going. That passionate Karen Carrington that i love so so very much and needed deeply!!!!

then i reflected and remembered strong strong beautiful woman Madeleine who taught me how to relax and meditate and just truly live in the moment.. Something i totally suck at. I'm ALWAYS on the go on a heightened intense high and struggle to be in the peaceful moment. 

when i met Madeleine, she looked me right in the eye, quickly picked up on my inner pain and cared so much to ask me "what's wrong?" she made time for me, sat with me, nourished me, guided me, and believed in me. After our awesome convo, I remember her telling me "Karen, you're so balanced and well grounded. I was like really? What a compliment coming from her! (she's a fantastic mentor) She says I like to serve others and I'm balanced! she's right! i AM balanced. I'm just a bit shaken up right now. but i always land on my feet. ...always

oh! and On top of that, She gave me a beautiful gift. A precious book http://www.amazon.ca/Grail-Springs-Holistic-Detox-Spirit/dp/1552786854 that helped me regain control of my overall health and was truly the best step i ever made on my journey to inner wellness. You haaave to read it! its beautifully written. a holistic detox for the body, mind and spirit

yup! i'm the photographer of this stunning photo. The grounds at Grail Springs

OMG! and the best part, I walked her beautiful grounds at Grail Springs http://www.grailsprings.com/and connected with the horses! yes! moi!  did you know horses represent freedom and power?  horses stand for the balance of wisdom and power and freedom.  riding a horse make people feel they could free themselves from their fears. Horses are symbols of travel, movement, and desire.

this is my vision of 2015.movement for desire.

Thank you Madeleine for giving me the push to face 2015 and grab hold all of its potential and opportunities. Bring it on 2015!

me after meditation with a special group of ladies at Grail Springs. thanks so much for having me. I recommend it to anyone who wants to cleanse their mind and body, detox and recharge. simply reconnect with your soul.

Proverbs 21:31 ^"The horse is prepared for the day of battle, but deliverance and victory are of the Lord"

 

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